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Darren and I will soon have been married 20 YEARS! We’ve made it a point to give each other the gifts of love, appreciation, and respect whenever interacting with each other.

Mind you, there have been occasions when our communication styles have clashed, but we’ve always addressed any crossed lines immediately. I’m not the type to allow things to simmer and fester, and thankfully, neither is he.

This is coming from a woman who at age 20 vowed I’d never, ever get married. The folly of youth. Omg–it’s a good thing we don’t stay young for too long!

As inhabitants of my BUTTERFLITIA intentional community that’s right over here in the next lane, he’s still my chief, very frisky ant, and I’m still his ever-lovin’ butterfly. LOL

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Darren has also played a critical grandfatherly role in my grandchildren’s lives because he lives nearer to them than their bio-granddad who lives several states away. It’s Darren who goes with me to their school for ‘Grandparent’s Day,’ kindergarten graduations, dance recitals, and birthday parties. My grandkids are fortunate to have two loving, resourceful granddads who give to them in different but always quality ways.

Some of you may think I’ve overstating all of this and exaggerating about these 2 men, but those of you who know me offline will probably say I’m understating the value of the packages both of these men brought into my life. I’m so thankful!

This is why I’ve harped so much about vetting men on my blog. Vetting is the absolute most important step in a relationship between a woman and a man if there’s to be a mutually satisfying, long-term relationship. I realize that some of you don’t believe in long-term relationships, but I’m the long-term type of woman. Why? Well, for one reason, it’s only in a long-term relationship with a vetted man that a woman usually gets a good return on the investment of her time and especially her youth. A long-term (marital) relationship is similar to balanced investing in the stock market. No matter what, the woman gains compound interest for herself and her children. That requires 梭影安卓版apk下载 It takes time to earn money on your earnings.

I don’t take any of the credit for just knowing the importance of vetting or knowing how to do it. I do, apparently, happen to be a good vetter of men for marriage. This is a skill set that I absorbed and internalized from my environment during my formative years. It was indirectly handed to me by my grandmother and my mother as well as key male relatives (my dad, uncles), so I’ve tried to pass this knowledge forward by sharing as many distinct skills in the set as possible in my blogs, podcasts, and offline as well, with other women. I hope with all my heart that my granddaughters will learn this skill set at the earliest appropriate age and apply it since the type of males or men a teen girl or woman spends time with almost always dictates the course of her life.

Anyway, the memories I’ve created with both men I married have been priceless, and I’m still creating them. Yay! What’s uniquely special to me about the 2 men I married is that they have the emotional makeup to get along well. They appreciate and trust each other.

So, 20 years sounds like a long time, but it’s not really. They’ve been rewarding years in every way that matters. Yes, I’m old or older now, and I’m loving it. I’ve made the years pay off for me. The 2 men I married have made sure I’ve had the wherewithal to do that with minimal stress. I have as much leisure time as I want. I can eat what I choose. I work at maintaining my health. I’m fit (I skate about 25 miles every week). I’m not just aging; I’m getting richer in every way that counts.

I’ve sadly encountered too many Black women who’ve gotten older and more impoverished in critical ways–poorer health, stressful environment, scarce support when they need it, lack of essential resources. Being poor and aging is a super bad combo in the U.S. I can remember working as a young professional in NYC when I was in my late 20s and early 30s and seeing numerous old and poor people living or existing there. I can remember praying many times for that to never happen to me.

What am I doing these days? Creating different things, as usual– as well as participating in a community social progress effort. Due to COVID, I’ve been away from our farm a lot lately, staying at a different location–helping out family members. Darren and I, therefore, rely on texts, calls, Zoom, Facetime, etc. to keep in touch on a daily basis. I’m away from him today, but I just received a text from him and it made me smile. He didn’t say anything funny. Just looking at his words, hearing his voice in my mind, and the thought of him made me feel good inside, made me smile. I’m still smiling.

There’s just something about this man!

Always vet for and bet on QUALITY.

Thank you, Chris for sending this Zales LINK of a bw-wm couple and his symbolic giving of love to her in the form of a diamond ring. LOL!

We know that diamonds are a gem that signify high quality, however thinking people know that a ring of this type is just one-way of expressing quality commitment and love.

So, I’m wishing every one a Happy QUALITY Valentine’s Day–in whichever way love is expressed to you that pleases you!

Many people will criticize the commercializing of love like this, but the gift of love can be and should be celebrated in all forms, based on both the giver and receiver. Some will object to the man–in many cases–spending thousands for a diamond to give a woman. But the fact is that spending money is one of the easiest ways to express love, and sometimes it’s not a genuine expression. This is often overlooked, particularly by those who are not able to spend money in this way and by those who don’t have the chance to receive pricey trinkets . But I repeat: It is very easy–especially at certain socioeconomic levels–to simply splash money on your mate or your children.

I stress this because I encourage broad thinking and looking at things from various perspectives. It is critical to get out of one’s zone and try hard to get exposure to other zones. As a person who is heavily steeped in comparative cultures and evolutionary psychology, it is scary to read and listen to those who can only view situations from ONE perspective.

Darren gave me a stately, beautiful diamond engagement ring when he proposed to me, and I’m wearing it now as I write this. Its clarity and quality are just as dazzling today as it was the day he gave it to me. I appreciate it just as much because I cherish him as the quality man he is. Over the last almost 2 decades, I’ve worn this ring a lot–in the shower, even sometimes when I’m doing work around the house or trudging around the farm (since I forget to take it off–lol) and it still looks sparkling new because it’s a ring of quality. Every time I look at this beautiful ring, I feel warm. It draws him close to me, no matter how many miles we are apart. The cost of the ring is not most important though. I would never wear a ring of any price from a non-quality man or one I didn’t cherish because I would get no joy from it. I know this ring is a symbol of Darren’s love and commitment to our union as man and wife, and 18 years later, we’re still going strong. Sometimes, when we’ve had an argument or I’m miffed at him about whatever, I look at the ring and it softens my heart. LOL! Yes, he spent thousands on it because it was a symbol of his belief in the substance of our union. It showed that he had vetted me and wanted to make an investment in me, the other partner in our ssr客户端下载

Quality is everything. It’s of paramount importance. Quality weathers most storms. It endures. If we live long enough, we’re ALL going to get older, and many of us will acquire a few physical, emotional, financial, etc. wounds or scars, but the quality person will maintain their quality. Just like the diamond.

A quality partner is like a financial investment that reaps steady compound interest, so I stress quality a lot in my articles. Some of you might recall I’m the one who coined the term: the CQLL (compatible, shadowsock安卓下载, loving, lovable) mate. I’ve married and lived day in, day out with TWO quality men–Darren and my ex-husband. I would try to walk on hot coals for both of them, if necessary because if my feet became burned, I know that both of them would be there to rub on the soothing cream, as long as it takes. LOL

Thanks, CH for yet another Ad featuring a BW-WM pair-bond/marriage. The more times this image is presented in any public media format, the more these unions will occur.

I’m convinced we’re living in a Twilight Zone time period in American  culture. LOL My oldest son said that it’s always been like this, but he points out that barely anyone knew about it before since there was no social media until recently. Okay .  .  . I would agree with that to an extent, but it’s obvious to those of us who’ve been around for several decades that the glue that’s kept the social fabric together has severely loosened. There is no unifying CULTURE most Americans adhere to and definitely not among black Americans. Typical people are therefore operating like loose cannons.

As a student of male-female relationship dynamics and a  Cultural Anthropology enthusiast, lifelong observer of all things cross-cultural and a holder of a college degree in this fascinating discipline, I have noticed all of my life since the time I became aware of the male-female dynamic, that given a choice,  many men choose incompatible women as girlfriends and wives. Some men these days are so afraid they’ll choose the wrong woman until they don’t choose anyone. Let me point out that there’s nothing wrong with the average woman. There is still someone for everyone, however given a choice, average men almost always are more attracted to the least compatible women! This means there’s a serious flaw in the CULTURE or a lack of an uplifting CULTURE, or they’re not following the guidelines of the uplifting CULTURE, if it does exist. [Read more…]

Thanks, so much, DM for the announcement of this couple’s marriage and their SITE link!  Probably  this marriage was publicized when it happened last year since he’s prominent, but I’ve just started up blogging frequently  again after a quite long break. I don’t post these pics and announcements nearly as much as I used to, but there’s still a  smidgeon of interest in them. LOL

Please check out this woman’s first installment in a multicultural animated TV Network on YOUTUBE.  Here’s a Forbes Magazine ARTICLE about her. Let’s show her support by circulating  this! When I see my grandchildren this weekend, we’ll be watching this video!

Since I advocate marriage so strongly for BAW (Black American Women) and write and podcast so often about the connection between black women marrying well, money, well being and certain privileges, I recently was notified of a black woman’s YT channel where she also puts a lot of emphasis on black women’s finances and in this case, “leveling up” and getting married. I will post the name of her site in my next post here, if it’s okay, and share the comment I made there about my marriages and my wealth status, which, of course, greatly lifts me, my children, and grandchildren.

This comes on the heels of Ciara’s “controversial” comments about the importance of more BAW (Black American women) placing a priority on marriage or getting married before having children. Whew!  It’s mind-boggling that [Read more…]

CH, thanks for yet another LINK to an IR couple/family in this YouTube–Amazon ECHO ad. I had no idea there were so many of these ads/images on the internet until you began sending them to me.  Some people think this is all about social engineering, but the big companies who bankroll these ads are, of course, motivated strictly by their bottom line. So we know they’ve recognized that these commercials boost their bottom line. At the same time, they’re increasing options for Black American women (BAW).  Yay! BWIRs are good for business.  Now go out and buy an Echo. LOL Nope–just kidding.

I’m going to cite the 3 key solutions for Black American Women (BAW) to get out of the social and soon-to-be physical quicksand that many are in but don’t know it. These [Read more…]

ssr客户端下载 for the whole array of YT videos, articles, movies, links, etc.  that you continue to send me featuring bw-wm couples.  You are really on it! LOL You are giving me so much fodder for posts here! Whew.

You said:

“Yes, some of us guys find women beautiful, regardless skin pigmentation or hair ‘texture’.”

This comment of yours is particularly important for me to highlight and expound on here because you and many other white men will never have any idea of the huge amount of layered propaganda that still targets black women, particularly from some in the various black communities and black social circles to cause black women to doubt their appeal and to believe that white men do not find black women attractive, let alone beautiful. I’ve heard more times than I can count and 梭影安卓版apk下载 from other blacks that white men will not marry black women, and the only white men [Read more…]

Dan Hennessey and fiancé Wendy Joseph are proof a healthy lifestyle can go a long, long way .  .  .  .

Thanks, CH for this ssr客户端android!   It does seem that this couple has aged backwards.!!  LOL

It also brings this question to the forefront again:  Do black women in interracial relationships with white men experience significantly less stressful lives, that promote their health? I believe that in general,  they do, and I can certainly talk about my personal experiences and up-close observations of other bw-wm couples I personally know. I even made a lengthy, detailed podcast years ago about how I share various privileges that Darren receives as a white man. If some of you recall, I included this podcast in my Vetting Men 101 Series.

Omg, that podcast stirred up such a hornest’s nest! It provoked really visceral reactions! One black woman friend of mine actually started boo-hooing. It was surreal and disturbing to me.

I’ve never done any formal research regarding this question, but any honest person with common sense in the U.S. knows the answer, if they’re really honest. Not saying that every black woman with a white boyfriend or husband has absolutely  less [Read more…]

Happy New Year – 2018! I will be video podcasting and blogging lots more frequently this year. Been hibernating too long! LOL!

I hope you will listen to my latest video http://youtu.be/Vb3DHhmwpLg  in my series on how marriage brings health, greater wealth and well-being to a woman’s life–and that of her children, grandchildren, etc.– in critical ways, and particularly the lives of black American women–as well as those who are similarly situated. Please listen on YouTube and  LIKE and Subscribe to the videos there. Feel free to join my mailing listing here to receive updates.

Also thanks, CH, for this Bw-Wm IR video ssr客户端下载.  Some of you may be familiar with this couple, but CH is a white man who continues to supply me with links re bw getting public appreciation from men of various groups. I’ll be posting those links here since .  Like me, he knows there’s something malignant about the various clusters of people who don’t want black American women, in particular, to know they are appreciated and desired for marriage by men of diverse backgrounds.

Back to my video—personally, my general well-being and wealth exponentially increased as a result of marrying 2 productive men. So, I continue to beat this drum for other black American women.

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Thanks EMR for sending this NYT marriage announcement of this couple. Wishing them a smooth and bountiful life. I zoomed in on what the groom said that attracted him most to her. The article said:

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“I was intrigued by a number of things,” he said, listing her profession — they were both lawyers, but she was in corporate law — her worldliness, and the easy conversation the two shared. Also, he said, “I clearly just found her superattractive.”

So along with her feminine desirability, he found her fascinating. She engaged his mind and his heart, and all else followed. As a mature and worldly woman, I’ve known for decades that men are wildly attracted to and remain with women who can engage their minds and keep it pointed at her. A smart man will stick like glue to a woman like that. This is why I’ve virtually begged black woman in all of my blog articles for over a decade to develop themselves to the utmost in all kinds of ways. This is the greatest aphrodisiac because it will lure and keep the man’s mind and heart forever. Not concerned about a man’s groin because the woman who has engaged a man’s mind and heart will always take priority in his life.

This is why smart men–the men who matter–aren’t dazzled for more than a minute by the women who carry themselves like the Amber Roses or Kim-Ks of the world enough to marry them or remain committed to them.  Let’s face it, the smarter men in any small or large region of the world–the men who matter–won’t commit their heart and soul to women of that type, and unless they’re suffering from a severe emotional deficit or mental disability (or are drunk), they definitely and absolutely refuse to mingle their bloodline with them (have children by them), or leave their legacy to them. OMG–NO!

This is not a put-down of women like Amber Rose or Kim-K. There’ve always been and always will be women like them in the world and those women offer what they can. No one should fault them for that. ‘A woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do.’ It’s not their fault that the bottom-feeding, ghetto, aka coonish subculture that apparently most Black American millennials (particularly prominent and a high proportion of other black American males) subscribe to and have exalted and promoted to the world these days–have turned women of this sort into icons of female (wifely) desirability. Males in other groups use women like them for sex, but NOT for marriage, and this has always been the case. As a devotee of Anthropology, there is rarely anything new under the sun. Male hormones have not changed one bit.   It’s overwhelmingly the group of bottom-feeding black American adult-age males who have placed women like these women on a pedestal and promoted them as having wifely and motherhood traits. These males have championed these women in every media form available to them because these males are severely defective/damaged in their thinking. So many black people (in particular) either refuse to or are unable to see that or continue to overlook/forget that.

Unfortunately, this means that the vast majority of young black American boys are strongly influenced by adult-aged black males in their social and media environment to pursue the Amber Rose-KimK and other stripper type women as love-interests, serious partners, mothers of their children, or wives. It is just a fact that if even worms are promoted and advertised enough, many people–of a certain type–will start viewing worms as a delicacy.

Fortunately, the overwhelming most of other males in the world, the smarter ones, still strongly pursue quality women.

Sadly many black American women have entered the lowest period of black American women’s existence because they try to look and behave like the Ambers and Kim-Ks in order to catch the eye of off-thinking black males. Beyond sad! This is the equivalent of a curse on black American women. Black people can deny this all they want, but all anyone has to do is look at how lowly black American women, who mainly chase after and desire these bottom feeding males–have sunk. A curse doesn’t get any worse than that–for any group of woman–because the status of any group of women (and their children) in the world is joined with the men with whom those women choose to mingle. What’s most terrible about this is that the black American women who don’t think like this or don’t do this have not found a clean, effective way to separate themselves from those who do.

Keep trying!  This kind of insanity is the reason why I’ve sometimes labeled myself as a PAB (passing as black).

Many black Americans will dispute this and (some black American women have even wanted and actually tried to literally hurt me for saying this.) They claim that even many non-black women want or prefer a bottom feeding black man. Yes, some white and other nonblack women choose to mingle with bottom-feeding black males, but non-black women (particularly the white ones) have the white privilege that they later on use to dust themselves off and say they went insane for a minute. They are usually then forgiven by other whites and accepted back among them. The population of black-white biracial children has grown astronomically and according to statistics that I’ve cited here before,  a high percentage (more than 80%) of black-white (and other) biracial children have been abandoned by their black fathers and are now living with their non-black babymama moms on government subsidies.  Or these mothers place their biracial children in adoption homes and walk away from them because this is how some non-black women get rid of the evidence of this insane time in their lives. They get rid of their mistake and go on with their lives. Others change their identity to an extent or hide their past in other ways. Black women seldom have this privilege of hiding their past. Many other non-white women in world don’t have this privilege either and this is why they steer clear of the bottom-feeder type men.

EMR, thanks a bunch for this note from you:

梭影ssr and I are happily settled in SoCal. I’ve left the boarding school and am working at a progressive school right near the shore outside LA. We are looking for an apt halfway between both our jobs and closer to the beach. In a few weeks we’ll celebrate our 7th anniversary! I can hardly believe how fast it’s gone. He and I work really well together to accomplish our goals and work towards our dreams.

I hope (I know) you and Darren are enjoying life. I, too, meet black women my age who seem ‘bewildered’ by their social circumstances. They are still waiting for permission, to travel, to date, to try new hobbies. On the bright side, I see all kinds of black women in LA with their partners, lots of Asian male spouses, lots of quirky, artsy lovely young women enjoying life.

My best to you!

EMR

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So good to hear that many of those black women in LA have caught the clue and are securing partners! I know that some of them will not always choose the best quality men, but they can never learn to hit the ball if they don’t practice swinging at it. LOL!  NO woman needs to go through life unpartnered. After all, we know from evo-bio-Anthropology that every woman can get a male, but not every male can get a female. This is true of 99.999% of the females and males of all species on earth.

 

Thanks again to all of you who helped to compile this vital information regarding the benefits of marriage. Marriage naysayers are right when they say that a marriage contract is a ‘piece of paper,’ but it’s a highly valuable piece of paper.

Read about ‘some’ of the reasons why that ‘piece of paper’ is still pursued by so many of those who have upper strata (middle class, upper middle class, wealthier) values. Some will say that these people marry because they can afford to marry, but I say that these people are in the upper strata and remain there for generations largely because they marry. I would certainly beg those in my lineage to keep this in mind, no matter what naysayers may say about marriage. Another thing those in my lineage and anyone else who’s interested should know about me is that I enjoy the benefits of being a member of an upper strata class because I married and remain married, and satisfactorily so.

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MARRIAGE RIGHTS AND BENEFITS

Learn some of the legal and practical ways that getting married changes your life.

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Tax Benefits

* Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities.
* Creating a “family partnership” under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.

Estate Planning Benefits

* Inheriting a share of your spouse’s estate.
* Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and ssr客户端下载 for all property you give or leave to your spouse.
* Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including QTIP trusts, QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts.
* Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse — that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse’s behalf.

Government Benefits

* Receiving Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits for spouses.
* Receiving veterans’ and military benefits for spouses, such as those for education, medical care, or special loans.
* Receiving public assistance benefits.
Employment Benefits

* Obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse’s employer.
* Taking family leave to care for your spouse during an illness.
* Receiving wages, workers’ compensation, and retirement plan benefits for a deceased spouse.
* Taking bereavement leave if your spouse or one of your spouse’s close relatives dies.

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* Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility.
* Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment.

Death Benefits

* Consenting to after-death examinations and procedures.
* Making burial or other final arrangements.

Family Benefits

* Filing for stepparent or joint adoption.
* Applying for joint foster care rights.
* Receiving equitable division of property if you divorce.
* Receiving spousal or child support, child custody, and visitation if you divorce.

Housing Benefits

* Living in neighborhoods zoned for “families only.”
* Automatically renewing leases signed by your spouse.

Consumer Benefits

* Receiving family rates for health, homeowners’, auto, and other types of insurance.
* Receiving tuition discounts and permission to use school facilities.
* Other consumer discounts and incentives offered only to married couples or families.
Other Legal Benefits and Protections

* Suing a third person for wrongful death of your spouse and loss of consortium (loss of intimacy).
* Suing a third person for offenses that interfere with the success of your marriage, such as ssr客户端android and criminal conversation (these laws are available in only a few states).
* Claiming the marital communications privilege, which means a court can’t force you to disclose the contents of confidential communications between you and your spouse during your marriage.
* Receiving crime victims’ recovery benefits if your spouse is the victim of a crime.
* Obtaining immigration and residency benefits for noncitizen spouse.
* Visiting rights in jails and other places where visitors are restricted to immediate family.

#2 –Felicia sent in a couple of MUST-READ articles re Social Security, pension, and other financial PENALITIES for unmarried bw. Read them in THIS Post.

#3– Sloane (sistrunkqueen) sent the following vital information about many of the SOCIAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, and HEALTH benefits of marriage.

by Youmasu J. Siewe, Ph.D, MPH.

If you are currently married, divorced once or ten times, a career bachelor, or just contemplating marriage, this article might be of interest to you.

What is marriage? Marriage is the following:

The institution that legally, spiritually and culturally binds and recognizes man and woman as partners.

The most valued and beautiful of all human relationships and a fundamental social institution which is central to the nurture and raising of children.

It is the ‘social glue’ that reliably attaches fathers to children.

It contributes to the physical, emotional and economic health of men, women and children. A strong commitment to marriage is therefore fundamental to the health and stability of any home, community or nation.

What do Americans think about marriage? Studies indicate that having a happy marriage is one of the most important desires of Americans. However, more and more Americans are becoming less likely to marry or remain married. About 50% of American marriages end in divorce for multiple reasons, and some as vague as “irreconcilable differences”.

What are some general benefits of marriage? Health and family science researchers cite the following as benefits of marriage:

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Individuals committed to one another in marriage can come home and find a place to understand each other deeply and redefine ways to fulfill their roles to themselves, their community and nation.

Hottg - SSR节点国际共享🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀:2021-6-6 · United States US tg telegram Group & tg Channel Admin Bot Link Created date: 2021-03-14 SSR节点国际共享🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 From: Россия Russia (RU) 10

Married people across cultures have better health than unmarried people.

Married individuals have lower rates of alcoholism than their unmarried counterparts because they tend to offer encouragement, support, and protection from daily problems that could otherwise lead them to using alcohol and other drugs.

Married men and women have lower suicide rates than unmarried ones because married people have meaningful social networks of friends and relatives. Meaningful relationships give people a sense of personal value and a feeling of responsibility to others.

 Married individuals have less illness, accidents, and murder; they are less likely to die from all causes, including heart disease, stroke, cancer, car accidents, and murder.

Married individuals spend less time in hospitals and have higher recovery rates.

Married individuals tend to have stronger immune systems, making them less likely to catch colds and develop other illnesses than unmarried ones.

What are the emotional health benefits of marriage?

Married individuals have the lowest rates of depressions and schizophrenias compared to the unmarried.

They tend to handle stress and anxiety better than their unmarried counterparts.

Marriage tends to make individuals to be more motivated to do well at work and to persevere through stressful situations.

Married persons are less likely to be lonely because they always have someone to share their thoughts, feelings, and lives with.

Married persons are more likely to report feeling hopeful, happy, and good about themselves.

Married couples have sex more often and enjoy it more physically and emotionally than their unmarried counterparts.

What are economic benefits of marriage?

Married couples have higher incomes than single men and women.

 As a marriage endures, couples have more obligations to each other and tend to be more financially responsible, and more likely to save money. Example: a husband who is skilled at repairing things can save a lot of money for the family; same applies to a wife who is skilled at managing money.

It is important to remember that when marriage partners pool their physical, emotional and economic resources together, the marriage, the family, the community and nation benefits.